“After moving out, we decided to surprise the...
“After moving out, we decided to surprise the house’s new tenants with a mystery box.”
“After moving out, we decided to surprise the house’s new tenants with a mystery box.”
Nada Surf - Hyperspace
Me: “How is it hard? Just search for a woman who likes wine, loves to travel and wishes she could do it more, likes to go out and try new things with her ‘partner-in-crime,’ and is looking for an ambitious yet down-to-earth guy who can make her laugh. That should surely narrow things down.”
Him: “I hate you.”
Me: “And make a pun with your username. Shows you’re clever.”
Him: “Go to hell.”
Me: “I recommend ‘69dotjizz4ever.’”
Him: “Fuck you, I have to go.”
Me: “Oh, and mention you like the Cubs. That’s the safe word for ‘I only like sports as social events and recognize your need to have a cute outfit when going out to games.’”
Him: “I’m going to stab you in the throat.”
Three powerful wizards give voice to R. Kelly’s masterpiece “I’m a Flirt”
WWE Superstar Rey Mysterio Summerslam Commemorative 7-Eleven Slurpee Collectible Cup, I have to tell you that I would have never thought we’d be part of some crazy, mixed-up adventures.
First off, until I bought you just a few days ago, I had never purchased a Slurpee in my life. I know, that IS crazy. First off, of all the places I’ve lived, there has never been a 7-Eleven near me. There were other c-stores and they had their derivative of a Slurpee and, sure, I had those, but it wasn’t a Slurpee. Plus, I always thought, “Why would I need a Slurpee? This lemonade or G2 or Powerade Zero will surely do the trick.” But, while waiting in line that fateful night, I looked up, saw that giant display for WWE Summerslam Commemorative 7-Eleven Slurpee Collectible Cups and you specifically, WWE Superstar Rey Mysterio Summerslam Commemorative 7-Eleven Slurpee Collectible Cup. For what ever reason in my head, but most likely the fact that my coping mechanisms for stress usually involve consuming foods that have no right being consumed let alone existing in nature, combined with the nostalgia and kitsch factor of owning a WWE Summerslam Commemorative 7-Eleven Slurpee Collectible Cup, I said “Dagnabit! I’m going to have me a Slurpee for the very first time.”
Well, WWE Superstar Rey Mysterio Summerslam Commemorative 7-Eleven Slurpee Collectible Cup, I have no problem announcing to the world that Slurpee is the king of flavored slushed-ice beverages. I have to say mine was delicious. Also, I guess I was fortunate enough to have a limited time flavor, Barq’s Root Beer. I don’t know if you know this or not WWE Superstar Rey Mysterio Summerslam Commemorative 7-Eleven Slurpee Collectible Cup, but I love root beer and don’t have it nearly enough in my life.
Once I got you home, you sat in my sink for a day or two WWE Superstar Rey Mysterio Summerslam Commemorative 7-Eleven Slurpee Collectible Cup. I have to admit that I almost considered throwing you out. What am I going to do with a flimsy machine-injected plastic drinking cup that has a performer from a form of sports entertainment that I don’t even enjoy? I know, WWE Superstar Rey Mysterio Summerslam Commemorative 7-Eleven Slurpee Collectible Cup, I don’t even like wrestling. But, I decided to keep you because that would be such a waste to throw you away.
Plus, wrestling does bring a certain amount of nostalgia to me. WWE Superstar Rey Mysterio Summerslam Commemorative 7-Eleven Slurpee Collectible Cup, did you know that I once had a professor who was a former business agent for professional wrestlers? It’s true. And, if you watched WCW Monday Nitro and WWF Monday Night Raw and could convincingly talk about the matches and storylines from those shows, he wouldn’t ask you any questions about the work you were supposed to do? I know, WWE Superstar Rey Mysterio Summerslam Commemorative 7-Eleven Slurpee Collectible Cup, that defeats the whole point of going to school, but you have to realize he was tough old bird. The entire class was graded on one final paper, and he claimed that he graded all the papers at once as soon as he finished an entire bottle of Wild Turkey. He also wrote a book about why minorities and women are the reason the US legal system is in shambles. So, in my mind, I justified watching wrestling as a good thing. Plus, that semester I went to a meet and greet for WCW Monday Night Nitro just for the heck of it. I met Chris Jericho and Chris Benoit. Yes, THAT Chris Benoit.
Anyway, WWE Superstar Rey Mysterio Summerslam Commemorative 7-Eleven Slurpee Collectible Cup, I am certainly glad I kept you. You are the perfect bedside water drinking implement. Due to your poorly visible motion illusion of WWE Superstar Rey Mysterio jumping through the air, you have slight ridges that keep you from being slippery. Nothing worse than dropping a glass of water while in bed and you, WWE Superstar Rey Mysterio Summerslam Commemorative 7-Eleven Slurpee Collectible Cup, are the perfect solution.
Also, I learned that, when I carry you outside my apartment, awesome things happen. Remember when we went into the laundry room to check on that load in the dryer? We rounded the corner and there was some poor kid taking my clothes out of the dryer even though it was in mid-cycle. That isn’t a cool move. I did feel bad for him because I know why he was doing it. It was because I had my clothes in the ‘good’ dryer. The one that is so hot that you can cram it full of clothes and it will dry everything perfectly. Well, once that kid saw me carrying you he backed off, said he was sorry, and put my clothes back in the dryer. As he walked away he said, “I like your cup.” I thought to myself, “Man, if I hadn’t kept my WWE Superstar Rey Mysterio Summerslam Commemorative 7-Eleven Slurpee Collectible Cup, who knows what have happened in that situation. Probably fisticuffs or a stabbing.”
And remember when I was carrying you with me as I took a bag of garbage to the dumpster outside? As soon as I got out, I heard some guy yell, “Hey, you, are you Max-o?” Obviously, I’m not Max-o, so I ignored it. Then, a guy who looked like a fat, strung-out, ex-member of Vampire Weekend came right up next to me and said again, “Are you Max-o?” I politely said to him, “No, I’m not Max-o,” and took a drink from you, my WWE Superstar Rey Mysterio Summerslam Commemorative 7-Eleven Slurpee Collectible Cup. Well, at that moment he smiled and said, “Yeah right. I got that stuff for you.” I didn’t know what this ‘stuff’ was that he was mentioning, but I didn’t want to find out. I assured this corpulent young man with a headband and popped collar that I was not Max-o at which point he said, “Oh, sorry about that.” After telling him it was no problem, he said, “Hey, I like your cup.” Oh man, WWE Superstar Rey Mysterio Summerslam Commemorative 7-Eleven Slurpee Collectible Cup, that’s 2-for-2!
So, WWE Superstar Rey Mysterio Summerslam Commemorative 7-Eleven Slurpee Collectible Cup, you and me are off to an awesome start. I have to admit I don’t know when I’m going to get a Slurpee again. I went three decades without one and I think I’ll be OK for another three. But you and me WWE Superstar Rey Mysterio Summerslam Commemorative 7-Eleven Slurpee Collectible Cup, we are going places.
Rise Robots Rise - Talk Is Cheap
Since misterblameshifter brought them up (and he knows which of my buttons to push), let me just say that this band could/should of been popular. When this came out in 1992, there were basically millions of over-distorted rock bands who record companies were praying would be the next Nirvana or Pearl Jam. So, when Rise Robots Rise’s first album came out around that time, it truly sounded like it came from outer space. It sounds like a couple of hippie jazz kids obsessed with Steely Dan were locked in a recording studio, given a stack of Mondo 2000 back copies and a copy of It Takes a Nation of Millions to Hold Us Back, and told to go make an album. The songs were insane; talking about US military imperialism and the military-industrial complex, urban guerrilla warfare in US cities in response to the crack epidemic, and how humanity will be punished by other-worldly aliens for destroying Earth. So when Tom Jones covered one of their songs and basically stripped it of all of its political lyrics, it made it seem even weirder.
Xiu Xiu - Apistat Commander
Museum of Contemporary Art Cleveland is getting a new building and location, and it’s blowin’ my goddamn mind. The above video shows what the space is going to be like and how it will interact with its location.
As a former resident and lifelong frequent visitor to Cleveland, everything about this is leaving me slack-jawed. The current MOCA location is an industrial building behind the Cleveland Playhouse on Carnegie. While it’s always been a decent space from a visitor’s perspective, to say this is an upgrade would be an understatement. Plus, the museum is moving to an intersection that I have walked through many, many, many times especially during my time living there. For those who know Cleveland, it’s the corner of Mayfield and Euclid where “The Triangle” office space is now. In the picture below, this is the perspective of driving north on Mayfield before Euclid. Just amazing.
After seeing the protests/counter-protests at the San Diego Comic-Con, I wonder how many people in the US have seen the documentary “The Most Hated Family in America.” Besides me being a fan of Louis Theroux, it’s a very interesting look at the Westboro Baptist Church. The above is the first “part” on YouTube. Click the link below to watch the entire documentary. Also, fair warning, definitely NSFW language.
‘Springstreets’, by Dan Cassaro, is a map of New Jersey “based solely on Bruce Springsteen lyrics” and contains over 200 references to his lyrics.
Red Line, 1:57am.
Ty Segall - Girlfriend
